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Heavens Gate

Feb. 2nd, 2006 07:33 pm The Stepping Stone

I gave you a broken figurine just to see if you'd keep it by your side always. Will you constantly wear my heart on your wrist, or will you set it by your bed everynight, wishing for a long goodnight? Do I need to come over and check under your bed for hidden treasures and desolate monsters? Are you fine darling, is it the cold sweat that's got you awoken again or can you rest easy with your soft hair flowing across your pillow? Do you need to find yourself again, we can take a journey out across the sea and fight the pounding waves on our tiny ship. We can land and storm like Normandy, to fight the clandestine creatures. I'll be firece through the forest that leads to the center of the cliff, we'll jump together. It means forever and always.

Current Music: New End Original - # 1 Defender

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Jan. 30th, 2006 11:00 pm This place is a prison.

I woke up to the same thing everday, it's starting to get repetetive. There can't be joy when there's no change in your life. I think about the same thing everyday, I listen to the same songs because they remind me of you, and you...and you. It's all just gotten monotonous to the point where I can't take it and I have 6 months of this left until I can feel real joy again. All I want is a real change, I had this schedule I live off of. It's bland and uninspiring. I used to be creative when I was free, but now the shackles have latched onto my fingers that grasp these pens that help me write. I don't truly know what I think anymore, only what I've been trained to think. Fuck you. Creep in the darkness and take the innocence of each soul that passes through those steel doors. Drain their minds and warp their figures. That place is a death-trap and one day it'll be the death of me. If this is what there is to live for, I don't want to live for it. That place is a fake. I live each day just to get out.

Current Music: This Day and Age - We always Rewind the best part

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Jan. 26th, 2006 07:04 am

Have you ever had one of those dreams that you never want to wake up from? Where everything in it is happening so perfectly and fluently that even while asleep you know it's not real. Yea, I had that one and then I got woke up at 6:30 to head out to school...that has already completely ruined my day. It was something so magnificent I could of been floating, there is nothing better than hearing every word you've ever wanted to hear and feeling every sensation you wanted too. Too bad none of it was real, I guess I'll have to keep dreaming.

Current Music: Mute Math - You are Mine

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Jan. 24th, 2006 06:47 pm Hopeless

a hundred miles away from home.
a hundred miles You wouldn't even smile if I were screaming as the water filled my lungs.
You demand to be chased for your love.
My desperate heart is far too weak to run for you this long.
But you don't care at all.
There's nothing I can do to draw you close to me.
Can you take this silence like a pill so I can breathe again?
I've been trying to ignore the best parts of you.
I'm still hoping that I'll be with you somehow.
Please be home tonight.
I'll die if I don't get a chance to make this just right.
I'm sorry but I can't forget about the way I feel every time you're here.
What would it take for me to be with you?
I swear I'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed.
Please be impressed.
I'd go so far to please you but I bet you wouldn't care at all.
Hopeless love, please leave me.
This broken heart is far to weak to run for you this long.
Why don't you care at all?
I'm dying for a place in your heart.
Can you take this silence like a pill so I can breathe again?
I've been trying to ignore the best parts of you.
I'm still hoping that I'll be with you somehow.
Please be home tonight.
I'll die if I don't get a chance to make this just right.
I'm sorry but I can't forget about the way I feel every time you're here.
Hopeless love, why did you carve your home in me?
This broken heart is too weak to hold your weight.
And now I regret the day we met.
And help me forget your name.

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Jan. 23rd, 2006 10:54 pm Stellar.

Only you can make me smile, I adore every little detail about you. I re-arrange myself just so I'll be able to speak to you for a second. I dream of you while asleep, and think of you while I face each task during the day. It's the only reason I wake up. I feel like it's summer and I'm young out in the fields. It's a second of glee. I still can't see how you do it?

Current Music: Daphne Loves Derby - Tennis Court Soundtrack

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Jan. 22nd, 2006 02:22 pm

How can you manage to make me feel the way I do when I barely even know the deep secret you keep hidden? I've fallen no matter, it's a curse. It happens to everyone except my luck tends to go a bit wayward. I just want a chance to show you myself. I can be everything you need me to be but you don't see that. You don't see me at all. For once I set my expectations far too high, I chase after things I can't have. I think winter has made me give up. I hate crushes so severe they break through your ribcage. Maybe someday she'll notice how much I want her.

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Jan. 21st, 2006 01:16 pm Walk Through Hell

and if i could swim
i'd swim out to you in the ocean
swim out to where you were floating
in the dark
and if i was blessed
i'd walk on the water you're breathing
to lend you some air for that heaving
sunken chest
because they chose you as the model
for their empty little dreams
with your new head
and your legs spread
like a filthy magazine
and they hunt you
and they gut you
and you give in

and if i was brave
i'd climb up to you on the mountain
they led you to drink from their fountain
spouting lies
and i'd slay
the horrible beast they commissioned
to steer me away from my mission
to your eyes
and i'd stand there like a soldier
with my foot upon his chest
with my grin spread
and my arms out
in my bloodstained sunday's best
and you'd hold me
i'd remind you who you are
under their shell

i'd walk through hell for you
let it burn right through my shoes
these soles are useless without you
let the torturing ensue
my soul is useless without you

and if they sent a whirlwind
i'd hug it like a harmless little tree
or an earthquake
i'd calm it
and i'd bring you back to me
and i'd hold you in my weak arms
like a first born

now i walked through hell for you
what's an adventurer to do
but rest these feet at home with you

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Jan. 20th, 2006 11:23 am The Clock and the Storm

Is it so hard to notice a sly grin from a boy with pointed edges? How dense and naive do you have to be not to notice each word and each stare is not invisible? They mean something but of course not to you. It's all lies and fake grimaces. Trapped in a solitary state with hidden meanings but no true recollection. Only a simple-minded fool doesn't notice my small quirks and shy hints. Maybe I'm the one impaired? I just wish you would take notice sometimes rather than ignorance.

Current Music: The academy is - The Fever

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Jan. 14th, 2006 10:32 am

I heard about your trip. I heard about your souvenirs. I heard about the cool breeze, in the cool nights, and the cool guys that you spen them with. Well i guess i should have heard of them from you. I guess i should have heard of them from you.

Don't you see, don't you see that the charade is over? And all the "Best Deceptions" and "Clever Cover Story" awards go to you.

So kiss me hard 'cause this will be the last time that i let you. You will be back someday and this awkward kiss that tells of other people's lips will be of service to keeping you away.

I heard about your regrets. I heard that you were feeling sorry. I heard from someone that you wish you could set things right between us. Well I guess i should have heard of that from you. I guess i should have heard of that from you.

Don't you see, don't you see that the charade is over? And all the "Best Deceptions" and the "Clever Cover Story" awards go to you.

I'm waiting for blood to flow to my fingers. I'll be alright when my hands get warm. Ignoring the phone, I'd rather say nothing. I'd rather you never heard my voice. You're calling too late, too late to be gracious, and you do not warrant long good byes. You're calling too late. Your calling too late.

What is the purpose of cheating? Why not tell someone you aren't happy, why keep it all in a lock and key. What's the point in acting like a whore, being like everyone else in this world. I just don't see it, is breaking hearts a new trend? Apparently it's cool to hide yourself from others and run around sneaking. I guess they feel they have to, to feel complete, to gain the attention they can't garner from just one person. Each time sets bad examples to the others, but sadly no one cares. I guess why get upset? This kind of stuff happens all the time, it's not a new fad. Infedelity is "in" these days. Well I'm sorry I won't fit your mold, and I'm sorry I won't give in and let countless experiences suffice. I want one earth shattering experience to mold me, not a thousand to set me astray. What's the purpose of cheating? You tell me.

Current Music: The Spill Canvas- The Mother Confessor

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Jan. 12th, 2006 08:03 pm

Each thought is provoked by harmless impositions that cast away. Each second, a death occurs and everyone goes along peacefully as we are kept senseless and numb. A diminished group seperated into rows of two. Would we honstly care if the walls around us were moving but it was only an illusion to our own movements. Like salmon flapping upstream only to be caught by the bears waiting at the top. What kind of journey are we on? Probably one that sucks, that's for sure.

Current Music: Dont Die Cindy- Unclothed and Honest

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